Tag Archives: Denial

On Display

Everyone started arriving for the party and I noticed one thing in the people you’d invited.  They were all women.  You’d had presented the party as an afternoon get together – time by the pool, casual conversation, etc.  You’d asked me to don my very best attire (think dress shorts and a sleeveless tux shirt and bowtie) and provide drinks for everyone, playing up the service side to have some fun.  Nothing overt, just a ladies day at the pool, with service.

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The Silent Treatment

We’re going to try something different today..

I always wonder how you come up with these bizarre things.  From challenges to toys to just simply situational stuff.

You walk out of the room and I have the distinct impression that I’m NOT to follow.  You come back with the bench (fun!) and your assortment of implements (not necessarily as “fun”) and tell me to strip and uncage.

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Day 5 – Challenge Story – All Wrapped Up

Sometimes things get a little (!) funky and you decide to try something just… fun and goofy and odd.  Today is one of those.

You tell me to get undressed, uncaged, and present myself…. you mumble something about “for wrapping” or something – I can’t really make it out and I sense that that’s on purpose.

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A Different Type of Torture

It’s been awhile.  A while since you’ve told me to just, essentially, lay back and relax.  I have come to know and understand that that’s not REALLY what you mean.  What you REALLY mean is lay back and hold on tight… because you have plans to do something, try something… or just want to play around and see what happens.  I’m not sure, but I think this last one is the most challenging – because it usually means any kind of reaction that you think is interesting – if it happens, you get all over it to see how far you can push it.

Turns out, pretty far.

Tonight you are all business.  As soon as I lay back, you start to toy with me, stroking, teasing, walking me down that narrow ledge.  It hasn’t been that long, so I’m not really expecting to get the golden “yes,” but you’re definitely coming after me with great abandon.  Usually you’ll race up to the edge, slow, or stop, then repeat that.

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Ratios. And Forcing the Issue.

As you lay back and pull me to you, you draw my lip into your mouth as we kiss – nipping at me, biting, kissing, releasing and pulling me back to you for more.  One of my favorite things is kissing you, which seems… odd for a dude maybe, but it is, and has always been, a huge hot-button for me.

You take advantage of that so frequently.  It doesn’t take much – from your tongue dancing around in my mouth, to pulling mine into yours to small bites and more substantial chomps, you know exactly how to get my attention, and I, yours.

Your neck.

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3 Minutes. You can do ANYTHING for 3 minutes, right?

That’s how the day started.  You were just joking around, or at least I had no idea what you were really referring to when you asked. Just out of the blue, you  asked me…

You can do ANYTHING for 3 minutes, right?

I kind of jokingly answered that I thought I could – pretty much anything anyway.  Of course then my mind wandered to all of the things that I was pretty sure I COULDN’T do for 3 minutes.  Fire.  Falling.  You know, DYING stuff. But sure, I was pretty sure you didn’t have that mind anyway.

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The Slow Fuse

Yes, until you tell me to stop,” you tell me slyly as you look at me with that look out of the corner of your eye.  “And, of course, if I don’t feel like stopping, I won’t.

Those words keep dancing around in my head during dinner as I’m trying to get what you’re saying.  You’re talking about anything and everything BUT the upcoming session tonight.  The weather.  The other people around us.  All of it.  Every now and I hear you say under your breath with a little giggle, “oh, this is going to be so much fun.

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Orgasm Control vs. Orgasm Denial

Snake and I have been having this long winded discussion about whether we are doing control or denial.  This, of course, means that we have to actually figure out what we mean by those two words….

This all started last week when Thumper posted his May metrics.  We, being the nerds that we are, also have spreadsheets and ratios and all of that.  Thumper said that he was at 11 for the year so I had to check our stats.  Snake is at 6.

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What I’d Do If…

It all starts by kissing, just kissing.  It’s one of the most erotic, sensual things we can do – and every second of it is powerful.  I kiss down your neck, just there at the base of your neck on your shoulder.  I start with light kisses, and move to little nibbles and lingering kisses.  I can tell I’ve hit some of the right spots – your breathing changes ever so slightly in just those spots…

You reach out, grabbing the back of my head, embedding your hands in my hair, then squeezing a handful to use as a lever.  You’re steering me a bit now, already taking charge of where you want me.  You pull me up, kissing me deeply nibbling on me as you go.  Then you push me back to the other side and release just a bit, letting me wander down your neck, to your shoulder, then out a bit and back.

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Making Dinner

When I walk in you ask me to tell you about my day – we start some typical banter, I realize that everything I say is met with “mmmhmmm” and “oh, I see…” in an exaggerated way.   You could not care less what I’m talking about and you are somewhere else as we get things around to start making dinner.

I try to find out what’s up, but you’re having none of it, egging me in to tell you more about my day.  But you stay disjointed, truly uninterested in this comic way.  I finally start to give up and start to move away and you stop.

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Update….Yup—Still Around

I know the Snake Den has been pretty quiet recently.  There have been pics and the rare post and story, but not the usual stuff.  Muggle life has been keeping us way too busy…

Work… blah, blah, blah… family… blah, blah, blah… miscellaneous nonsense… blah, blah, blah…  You get the picture and it’s boring and the same for everyone so, yeah…

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Shower Torture

I’m sure you know how it is.  You get up, you mindlessly wander to the shower and try to jump start your engine to get the day going.  The warm water, the ritual of getting presentable … it all comes together to help.

So, there I am.  I’m in the shower, washing my hair.  Trying to turn on my intellectual lights.  As I’m scrubbing away, I suddenly hear the shower curtain pull back, you grab me by the waist and place me in the corner of the shower, out of the stream of water, suds in my hair, eyes closed.

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And the Answer is…

Last night was one of our rare nights alone with no dance lessons or practice.  So, of course, it was time for some teasing and play…

We had to do our photo for #boobday so that’s always a fun tease to begin the night.  Snake gets to be behind the camera and take lots of shots and be a professional.  No touching, just looking.  And, sometimes, you know, it does take a while to get the right shot.

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SOUNDING Like Fun Torture

As we wander into the play area, you’re already grinning from ear to ear.  I can tell you’ve been thinking about this for awhile, and have ideas about what you want to do.  Pretty unusual since you’re more of a “by the seat of your pants” type, but every now and then, you’ve planned things out in detail in your mind’s eye and this is one of those.

Closing and locking the door you walk me to the center of the room, put on my wrist cuffs and attach a chain, sit me on a stool you have there.  When my hands are up over my head, just enough to stretch well, you attach them to the rings.   I’m sort of dangling there, twisting a bit trying to get relaxed into the tug on my arms.

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Who’s the Boss? (She is)

At the end of the week, as the work day starts to wind down, I’m working to finish up, get everyone their final bits to be done for the day.  I’ve been heads-down for hours, door shut, putting together the dreaded weekend lists for everyone to finish up over the weekend.

There’s a soft knock at the door and I try to ignore it.  But the knocking comes again, this time louder.  I mumble something resembling “come in,” hoping that whomever is on the other side of the door will take the hint and go away.  Nothing happens.  I grin to myself, thinking I succeeded, then the knock again.  Now I’m getting annoyed.  “Come in!” is all I can get out, with an expletive or two under my breath afterward.

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Charmer’s Thoughts on the Cage Part 2

About two weeks ago I wrote about my thoughts when we first started using THE CAGE….I don’t know why but for some reason it always seems like it needs a booming voice to say that.

I talked about the history of our use of THE CAGE–see, you are doing it in your head now too, aren’t you?–and opened up a whole new question set.  I said that we didn’t think anything would really change and left it there.  Since then there have been a couple of questions about what changed so I’m going to try to talk about that in some coherent way.  No promises.

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Charmer’s Thoughts on the Cage…

Life is interfering with Snake’s blogging… Being a techie nerd, when things fall apart, they tend to take the world with them.  So, he’s busy being brilliant in his real life so I thought that I would write…gasp!

Besides–since he won’t be able to make his deadline on his post, it just gives me lots of delicious opportunities to come up with alternative tasks.  Maybe a story, maybe an extra picture, maybe something completely new. Oh, the ideas running through my head.

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Objectification

When I walk in the door on Friday afternoon, you’re there to greet me.  You have the grin on your face.  The one that says you’re plotting and scheming and are in a place where you’re interested in one thing only – getting your way.

As I walk in you put your finger on my lips softly to shush me.  You take my things, put them on the floor and proceed to undress me.

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That Feeling When She Sinks Down on Me

So, there I was.  Flat on my back, raring to go.  Charmer had that look in her eyes that she was really looking forward to being on top and I have to admit to loving it too.

I love that feeling when she sinks down on me, then just stops and lets things settle.  I look forward to it, consciously, even when we’re apart.  This time was no different.  Except that it was different.  As she lowered herself, my brain was screaming “YES!  Here it comes!”  but my body was reporting in that nothing was going on.

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What Is It About Denial/Control Anyway?

More often than not, when I am talking with someone about all this stuff we do, the conversation comes around to why denial would be something that would OK.  Or, more accurately in our own case, “control” – neither of us are really into outright denial, but rather control and limited “release.”  [SSC:  Or rather, limits for you…]   So many times people have talked to me and as we talk through it, they just have this bewildered look on their face.

Let’s face it, commonly it’s all about the “O” (hopefully for both parties) and it’s a race to get there.  To change that up and completely manage or control, often without allowing one at a given time at all, is just a foreign concept.  Add to that that many times I will pass on the opportunity willingly – and you get some really funny comments and feedback.

“But why?  Why would you do this?”

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Wait. What?

[SSC:  Just a warning….I was laughing so hard that I almost fell out of my chair when I was reading this.  So fair warning:  strap in…]

I don’t know if you’ve seen the movie “Inside Out” from Disney/Pixar – but if not, you may want to check it out.  (Here’s a link to the trailer for context, it’s short and important for this post) It’s hysterically funny, and at the same time, shows the conversations that happen in our respective brains as life moves forward.

I had this type of conversation happen to me with Charmer and the only way I could describe it was in terms of the movie – for future reference, the characters in my head that were involved were:

  • Fear
  • Anger
  • Joy

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TIL: Attitudinal Cycles and Subbie Head-Space

Almost makes it sound scholarly, yes?  “Attitudinal” – basically how to keep your head on straight when you have the chance to see how orgasms can impact your attitude.

My personal sweet spot is that span of time when subbie-mindset is in full swing and at the same time, I’m climbing the walls wanting to get playtime with Charmer.  [SSC:  Is there ever a time when that isn’t the case?  I don’t remember any but they say that the mind is the first thing to go.]  But I’ve come to learn too that that’s indeed impacted by those times when I’m allowed to have an orgasm, vs. those times when I’m denied.

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