Of Cats and Bruises

It’s late on Sunday morning and thought I’d write a post about the last couple of days.  Some life stuff, some kink stuff and just an all-around gorky happy post.  Gorky?  It’s a Snake household word.   You know the sound a cat makes when it throws up?  A little like “gork, gork, gork?”  That is our expression when people are being super sweet and romantic and happy and everyone just wants to throw something at them.

I had been teasing Snake all week that our his to hers orgasms ration was way too high on his end.  It was at 20:1 in favor of me.  We’ve been really busy the last couple of weeks and play time has been a little scarce.  Thursday night we had time and he did his best to fix those numbers.  He gave me 17 very nice orgasms and two really epic ones.  We have a rating system.  You know–the whole 1-10 thing.  Rarely there are a few in the 3-4 range.  Mostly they are in the 7-9 range.  However, sometimes there are the amazing 10s.  Sometimes afterward I feel a little like a judge in a sporting event.  Maybe we need to make some paddles.  🙂  He always knows when they are 10s, but asks anyway.  He was a very good Snake on Thursday and managed two of those.  Happy Thursday to me.

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Super secret identity and communities

As Snake and I were lying in bed this morning, he made a comment about his PA still healing a little and I laughed and said he didn’t really have anyone here to talk to about it unfortunately. Then he laughed and said he really couldn’t talk to people he knows about a lot of things in our lives.  And so my brain went on…

Like all of us, we have a normal muggle life.  It takes up most of our days and nights.  We have a business, we have friends, we have kids, we have Snake’s father and stepmother, etc., etc., etc.  Amazingly, excluding the usual jokes and innuendos, we don’t discuss sex with them.

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By the end of the month I might have a new zombie plan…

I hate to run.  I’ve never been one of those people who got a runner’s high.  In fact, I was the 4.0 gpa student in high school that almost blew it with a P.E. grade because of running.

It isn’t that I’m not active.  I wear a pedometer every day and get my 10,000 steps in.  We do swing and country western dancing at least three days a week for two to three hours.  If you think it’s easy, try doing swing for an hour or two solid.  It’s serious cardio.

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An “off” week at the Snake household…

We’ve just had an out-of-sorts week this week.  It started off with a misstep, which caused a misunderstanding, which moved on to a full-scale argument.  We rarely argue.  We bicker.  A lot.  We regularly call each other rude names in public and freak other people out who don’t know that this is our silliness.  We annoy each other like every married couple, but usually nothing really sticks.

Snake has a really slow fuse.  I am explosive but then it’s over in 30 seconds.  Our daughter is just like me and he is always amazed when we go from screaming at each other to giggling in no time flat.  It’s just who we are.  And our differences usually keep things calm because he just rolls his eyes at my rants and all is good.  I’m his sounding board so he rarely gets too angry.  When we start having hurt feelings and miscommunication, all bets are off.

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Our Version of Dominance and Submission

There has been a lot of blogging lately about how subs can be made to feel submissive.  Several people have talked about more discipline, several have talked about more verbal commands and Snake made his feelings known last week.

There are so many posts on what makes a Domme.  If you do x, you aren’t really a Domme.  If you don’t do x, you aren’t really a Domme.  It’s the fantasy version of the woman in black leather holding handcuffs and a whip.  It’s not reality.  Sure, there is probably leather, handcuffs and whips in many of our arsenals.  But I think those are tools, not the actual domination.

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Not that anyone is asking me…

Most of you read our blog for our chastity and piercings escapades.  Fair warning, this is just pure rant… 🙂

I am rather opinionated.  🙂  Usually only my family and close friends get to (are forced to?) listen to my rants.  Believe me, there are plenty of them.  The news gives me constant fodder for giving my opinions.  The Internet is another great source.  I don’t usually share most of these opinions online because I hate the “me too” posts.

Our business is web-based so Snake and I spend a lot of time online.  We have had many years of experiencing the Internet in all of its good and bad parts.  In general, I think it has opened up pieces of the world to people and made it a better place.  I also think that it has given people the impression that they should opine on other people’s lives when it doesn’t affect them.

When I was in high school eons ago, I had a good friend who was bisexual.  It didn’t matter to me.  He was my friend.  He was so confused by the mixed messages that he got that he was constantly flipping from being gay to being straight.  He told me he had to pick one.  When I asked him why he told me that it wasn’t right to be attracted to both sexes.  At 17 I was the first person in his life who told him that it was ok.

I’ve been arguing for equal rights and gay marriage for over 30 years.  Yes, you can do the math.  🙂  I could never understand why it was even an argument.

Snake and I are heterosexual and in a monogamous relationship. This is who we are.  We are the “normal” couple.  “Aren’t they cute?  You two look like you are still so in love.”  We are very much in love but I think most of our Muggle friends would drop their teeth if they ever looked in our toy box or realized that Snake wears a collar under his shirt daily.  And, of course, is usually locked away.

I’ve given you some history to let you know that this isn’t a “revelation.”  I was raised that unless you were paying someone’s bills, you didn’t get much say in how they lived.  My marriage is strong.  Opening up the gates to other people getting married won’t affect mine.  But it affects so many other people and the attitudes affect even more.

Our daughter started questioning her sexuality at 12.  Not a surprise to either one of us. She was president of the LGBT chapter at her high school.  She has never hidden who she is.  She has had relationships with men and women.  She hates the label “bisexual” and refers to herself as queer.  I don’t label her as anything besides my wonderful and sometimes infuriating daughter.  She truly is an amazing person.  She is accepting of other people and their beliefs.  And yet, she has had so many ignorant and mean comments thrown her way.

Apparently, according to the masses, she just wants more people to screw (she’s actually been told this). She wants a monopoly on potential dates.  She can’t be trusted because she will have sex with anyone.  If someone asks her out, she has to be attracted to him/her because she is attracted to everyone.  Women don’t want to date her because she’s been near a dick.  Men have told her that she just hasn’t met the right man.  She’s too pretty for…I could go on for pages.  And most of these people don’t even know her or have any reason to care.

There have been a lot of nasty comments as responses to a number of blogs lately.  I’m not going to be specific.  The bottom line is that it isn’t right to push your beliefs on other people.  The comments are on sex blogs.  The people making the comments know what blog they are on.  If you are offended by it, don’t read it.  No one is forcing you to read them.  But, before you decide to rip into someone, maybe think about the fact that these are human beings with feelings and have a right to live their own lives as they see fit.  They aren’t being deceitful, they aren’t being promiscuous and they aren’t forcing you to join in.

They are also someone’s son or daughter.  And maybe, one day, it will be you having to console your child when people are cruel because of the way they were born.

The female perspective on life and PAs

I know Snake is frustrated about the healing time of his PA.  It has been three weeks today and he is mentally raring to go.  He wore the Steelheart for a couple of days after it arrived because, after all, it is new and shiny.  He also isn’t completely healed, has a larger than necessary ring and ended up with a small cut that needs to heal.  So, he is free for the last couple of days and being very impatient.  He has decided that it needs to be done so his body just needs to get with the program.  I can’t blame him.  I’m the person who feels personally offended by my body if it succumbs to a cold.

While part of his frustration is lack of teasing that he is used to, I think a bigger part is that he wants to let me have whatever I want.  We might have gone through a dry period before we started all of our FLR and D/s activities, but now that is over.  Thankfully.

We have a private blog that we write to each other daily and there is an orgasm log on it.  He started the count on January 27th of this year and so far he has amassed 8.  Those are real ones and don’t include the 5 ruined ones.  Using those numbers, Snake averages about one every week and a half.  He did have one two weeks ago so he isn’t completely chaste, but it has been a while.  Enough of a while that when I decided to play this morning during his inspection, he was more than ready.  However, due to a punishment, he owes me a few more orgasms before he can come.

We’ve had a really busy and tiring couple of weeks and given the choice between sleeping and playing, well, sleep won.  Snake was starting to get worried that things were sliding back.  It really had nothing to do with not being horny. So, he was quite happy when I told him yesterday that we didn’t have plans and that I was ready for some attention.  A nice bubble bath and then time to up my count on the orgasm log.  And even if Snake is still healing there, he still upped my count by 19.  Not too shabby.  My count is 185 since the end of January so I guess my average is about 18 per week.  I still think we need to work on that, Snake.  🙂

So, while he is frustrated and feeling like things will never be back to normal, my job is to give him some outlet for his frustration and remind him that this is a journey.  Life will occasionally get in the way, the PA will take some time to heal but we are still moving forward and having a lot of fun.

Player Substitution

Snake has been completely overwhelmed by work this week.  His Muggle life is very busy on a regular basis since we own our own business, but this week has included an event that just pushed everything even more.  Adding to our usual dance classes, stuff around the house and his father trying to make him feel guilty and he just hasn’t had time to post.  So I thought I’d give everyone a quick update.

His PA is healing so well that he is making me jealous.  When I got my belly button pierced, it got infected and it was six months before I was supposed to change the jewelry.  In my daily inspection of the PA, I can see that it is really already healed.  Excluding a couple of times that the ring got turned sideways, he hasn’t had any discomfort in over a week.  And today is the two week mark.

His Steelheart has shipped and should be here very soon.  We figured out that he has been in some sort of chastity device since December 2013 with just a few breaks for trips.  He’s really noticing the “off” feeling of being free while he’s been healing and is definitely looking forward to getting locked up again.  I told him that he had to strip when he was home and no one else was around to try to get some of the subby feelings back.  It has helped but it just isn’t the same.  But, even when he is locked up again, I decided the clothes-free zone will continue.  It gives me more opportunities to play…

Watching his dad work his way through getting older, we have decided that we will never get old.  We might get older, but we will continue to try new things and be adventurous.  We know that his stepmom quilts a lot and loves to bake.  We have no idea what his dad does all day.  Other than nap.  And apparently wait for Snake  to come for lunch once a week.  Snake cancelled on them, for one of the first times ever, due to work.  Snake could just feel the waves of disappointment from them.

They are snowbirds and we are their winter home.  After Snake’s mom died, his dad married someone he had known since high school.  She had stayed there and he had a house here.  They decided to split their time in the different climates.  During the “summer” half, they have friends who are all retired.  They can go to each other’s houses and eat pie and chat every night.  We have jobs and other commitments.  It makes them feel ignored because sitting in a circle and eating pie while talking constantly is not our thing and not possible with life and responsibilities we have.

We also won’t go to church with them.  His father never went until he remarried but now has decided that his greatest failure was not instilling this in his children.   Snake is one of the most moral people I have ever met.  We’re just not religious.  Church has become their thing.  I respect that.  He just doesn’t respect that it isn’t ours.  Our daughter went to visit them about a year and a half ago.  They took her to their church where the entire sermon was about how young people need to go to church and be part of that community.  She was the only person under 50 in the place.  It certainly wasn’t directed at her.  🙂

I often wonder how Snake came from his family.  He is more liberal than when we first met but his parents were prudes.  I came from the family where just about anything was ok as long as you paid your own way and didn’t hurt anyone.  Snake’s mother redacted the book “Airport” before he could read it because “the sex scenes didn’t add anything to the plot.”  My mother let me read anything and just told me to ask questions if I didn’t understand something. Snake’s dad gave him a talk about STDs and told him to “keep it zipped.”  My mom took me to get on the pill. It’s a wonder I didn’t fry Snake’s brain more than I did when we started dating.

You can just imagine the reactions that our daughter has gotten from his family at large to her piercings, tattoos and sexual “phase” (she’s bi, must be a “phase” according to them).  You would think we had raised the next Hannibal at the beginning.  🙂  I think there is hope for them, though.  They have started spending time with her alone and I think they have realized that she is really epic.  I just don’t think Snake will be sharing news of his PA anytime soon.

I guess all of that is really to say that I have an amazing husband.  He takes care of his parents, he takes care of his children, he takes care of me and he takes care of his employees.  We are best friends, business partners and kinky lovers. The more we push, the more we want to do.  And we’ll leave the getting old and naps to other people.

For the Win

Just to put it out there–I am competitive.  I can hear Snake snorting while he reads this because if there is an overly competitive person in this relationship, it is me.

I’ve never been sporty so I’ve always had to find other outlets.  School was easy.  I became Valedictorian to win.  If Snake and I have ridiculous arguments, they are usually having to do with winning.  In college, the game Othello almost ended our relationship several times because I could never win that stupid game.  Even now, my family tries to ply me with alcohol for a chance to win You Don’t Know Jack.

Snake and I took up dancing as an empty nest social activity.  We wanted to learn to dance so we could go out and feel comfortable.  No, we don’t want to compete.  Yeah, right.  Less than four months in I had started plotting competitions and shows.  And, of course, it isn’t just one dance.  It is six different ones and a group piece.  I never do things slowly.

The point of all of this is the sexual side of things.  I am constantly competing with myself.  I edged him x number of times last week so I want more this week.  If I can ruin one orgasm, can I ruin three?  (Yes, I can.)  It’s always more, better, faster, longer with me.

Not that Snake is without his own competitiveness.  If I have fewer orgasms in one session, he always wants to know if he did something wrong or could do something better.  And he pushes his limits with me as well.

Before he decided to get his PA, Snake did enough research to become an expert on everything except how he himself would react.  It was planned for the end of the week so he wouldn’t have problems at work and a Steelheart was ordered so it would arrive about the end of his healing period.  Everyone said it would be about four weeks to heal.  So, of course, he had to do better than that.  🙂

As he has written, he had very little pain or bleeding.  It also wasn’t tender at all.  So, on Friday, I thought I’d play a little.  He tried to distract me, but that never works when I’m on a mission.  To his surprise and my glee, it not only didn’t hurt but felt really good.  Good enough that he got his orgasm about three weeks earlier than he thought he would.

Not that he should get his hopes up that anything has really changed for his chastity.  But, Friday night, I won.