Super secret identity and communities

As Snake and I were lying in bed this morning, he made a comment about his PA still healing a little and I laughed and said he didn’t really have anyone here to talk to about it unfortunately. Then he laughed and said he really couldn’t talk to people he knows about a lot of things in our lives.  And so my brain went on…

Like all of us, we have a normal muggle life.  It takes up most of our days and nights.  We have a business, we have friends, we have kids, we have Snake’s father and stepmother, etc., etc., etc.  Amazingly, excluding the usual jokes and innuendos, we don’t discuss sex with them.

I started thinking back to the beginning of our relationship.  We started dating in high school back in the days of primordial ooze.  When our son and daughter were in high school, dating had a completely different connotation than it did when we were there.  Apparently you can’t date more than one person at a time.  If you do, you are a “slut.”  They went to a private school, so I thought maybe it was some weird private school thing.  No.  My best friend’s daughter had the same thing.  She and I were very confused because dating and dating exclusively were something completely different when we were in school.

Back in our dark ages, we had sex.  Unless you were a jerk, you didn’t talk about it constantly.  It was just known that it happened regularly.  I knew my friends were having sex, but we didn’t talk about it.  There were no discussions about kinks.  The most that was ever really discussed was our friend who was bisexual and struggling with it and the guys who frankly had no technique and didn’t care.

Moving to college, I lived in a room with two other girls.  There was a lot of sex that happened in that room.  Snake and I were in the initial honeymoon phase of our relationship and they both had a lot of partners.  But, again, we didn’t really talk about it except yelling at the one who insisted on dropping used condoms on the floor for other people to deal with.  We were kinky from the beginning, but it just wasn’t discussed.

It wasn’t bad.  It wasn’t repressed.  I have never had a problem discussing any aspect of sex with our children.  Sometimes much to their chagrin.  They have always been able to ask questions.  Our daughter was open with us about her sexuality and discussed her confusion many times.  (Although, she maintains to this day that we’ve only had sex twice because we only have two kids.)  We just have never discussed our sex life with them beyond what they ever asked.

Yesterday our daughter came over to waste time before a doctor’s appointment.  Of course, it was while I was busy going through porn and Twitter to write my daily post to Snake.  I was really frustrated that the two parts of my life were colliding. We started talking about the different generations and how they view sexuality.  Ours was very open, in general.  Hers seems to be split.  In her words there are the prudes and the sex positives.  I almost burst out laughing.  If there are sex positives, are there sex negatives?  I mean, obviously if you watch the media, there are.  But still.  Sex is necessary for the population to continue.  And fun.  What’s with the silly label?  But, hey, I am all over being sex positive.

Also, yesterday, I was getting my hair cut and the lady doing it has known me since high school.  She was telling me about letting her cat out at 5 a.m. and looking over her neighbor’s wall to see the new patio they had put in.  She was shocked to see her neighbor outside naked.  He didn’t see her, but she asked me what kind of people go outside naked at 5 in the morning.  I almost told her that any man in a CFNM relationship, such as Snake, might be.  Of course, the fact that she cuts his hair too was a good reason to keep quiet.  But, she was completely shocked that people walk around their house and yard naked.

I’m sure the D/s signs in our relationship are there for people who know what to look for.  I see it in relationships.  So, while I was showering this morning, my brain went to the secret identities of super heroes.  There are two separate parts of their lives.  Some people know both sides.  Some know the muggle side.  Some know the sexy and muscled side.

And that’s where I see the kinky side of our lives.  Most people see the muggle side.  Some people see the kinky side. And a select few get to know both.  The online communities are wonderful because people can share what they want, take away what they need and see all of the wonderful people who are willing to share themselves and their experiences.  Bring on the tights, guys!  🙂

2 Replies to “Super secret identity and communities”

  1. You know after just having a conversation in private right this moment something dawned on me here. I was just thinking how we reflect back on when we were younger and how things were then and how things are now. Some times change…..and well some things don’t. Both things work out in the end 😉

    “Ours was very open, in general. Hers seems to be split. In her words there are the prudes and the sex positives.”

    It’s sad that we have come so far, yet we haven’t moved at all in most areas. And I reiterate again as I did with my apology about your daughter being bisexual…what is truly sad is that most of the “shaming” of it all comes from within that very community that claims they accept us. It does my mind in sometimes. Like it has been until yesterday. But of all the “why” “how does this thing look for me” (trying to imagine how it works) how and what ifs ..the very last of those thoughts were “how are people going to see me if they know” “how does that change my friendships who claim they will always be around” etc


    Lesson learned: I guess don’t always assume we grow out of things or something “was just a phase” 😉

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