I am continuing to learn about what pushes my buttons in this new(er to us) lifestyle. I wrote before about the “subbie” energy and how, I believe, you pull it from the things that happen, and the relationship, rather than have it necessarily instilled in you by your Domme. I do think it’s comes from a whole range of things and I’m finding that it’s also a combination of things that really pushes things over the top. Do I love it when I’m pushed by Charmer to do things that I wouldn’t be otherwise doing? You bet. No question.
But I also love it when there are a bunch of little things that constantly keep pecking at the relationship.
For example, Charmer instituted a daily “inspection” after I got the PA. At the time, this was to check on the healing and to see how things were coming along. It started as a “whoa! Careful there – that’s a bit sore right there…” and has grown into a teasing time every morning. Now that I’m back caged, she makes a point of moving around all the bits, fiddling with the new PA ring, generally making a big point of making sure there aren’t any sore spots or issues.
It lasts all of about 60 seconds, but it’s a double-check on the fact that she’ll be determining how things are, and she’ll be making a point of re-declaring her role. I suppose the technical term is that it’s objectifying, but that’s a weird thing to say. I’ve always heard that as such a negative term in relation to how women are treated by some men. I don’t have a better word for it though – and it’s a very sub place to be. Hands behind the back and standing, waiting to be inspected.
It’s weird what things push your buttons. I also write stories for her every week – these started as a window to my thoughts and things I can think up. They are explicit stories (duh!) and I write them to be just on the edge of reality – things that are quite possible if desired, but perhaps not easily done. Not like acrobatic difficult, but more like situationally challenging. Hard to pull off. Might be a location that we’re nowhere near, or might be situations we’re not readily able to reproduce. We could. But…
In addition to all of this, she’s made a point of smaller things around the house being done for her. None of it ventures into more than what I’d like to be doing anyway – it’s not like I’m scraping the floors with a toothbrush and file. It’s more like being able to do fun things for her – get baths ready, massages, etc.
All of this adds up to push the old sub-buttons pretty strongly.
I think part of the dynamic that comes with “enforced chastity” and the D/s lifestyle is that it makes it ok to talk about things that are of interest. To know that you’re both engaged, both interested and both part of this thing you’re exploring is extremely hot. To know that she wants a you to do some odd sexually-oriented task, or send a picture of a specific ornament… and now. To know that you’re both in that frame of mind as often as possible, and then some, makes it all fun.
To know that she’s conjuring up new playtime activities, is asking questions about things that may (heh, or may not, that’s the point), happen, along with all of the other goodies, really serves to push my sub buttons. Of course knowing that I also can’t do anything about it until she decides to let me, keeps me buzzing… and the cage tight many times a day.