Most of you read our blog for our chastity and piercings escapades. Fair warning, this is just pure rant… 🙂
I am rather opinionated. 🙂 Usually only my family and close friends get to (are forced to?) listen to my rants. Believe me, there are plenty of them. The news gives me constant fodder for giving my opinions. The Internet is another great source. I don’t usually share most of these opinions online because I hate the “me too” posts.
Our business is web-based so Snake and I spend a lot of time online. We have had many years of experiencing the Internet in all of its good and bad parts. In general, I think it has opened up pieces of the world to people and made it a better place. I also think that it has given people the impression that they should opine on other people’s lives when it doesn’t affect them.
When I was in high school eons ago, I had a good friend who was bisexual. It didn’t matter to me. He was my friend. He was so confused by the mixed messages that he got that he was constantly flipping from being gay to being straight. He told me he had to pick one. When I asked him why he told me that it wasn’t right to be attracted to both sexes. At 17 I was the first person in his life who told him that it was ok.
I’ve been arguing for equal rights and gay marriage for over 30 years. Yes, you can do the math. 🙂 I could never understand why it was even an argument.
Snake and I are heterosexual and in a monogamous relationship. This is who we are. We are the “normal” couple. “Aren’t they cute? You two look like you are still so in love.” We are very much in love but I think most of our Muggle friends would drop their teeth if they ever looked in our toy box or realized that Snake wears a collar under his shirt daily. And, of course, is usually locked away.
I’ve given you some history to let you know that this isn’t a “revelation.” I was raised that unless you were paying someone’s bills, you didn’t get much say in how they lived. My marriage is strong. Opening up the gates to other people getting married won’t affect mine. But it affects so many other people and the attitudes affect even more.
Our daughter started questioning her sexuality at 12. Not a surprise to either one of us. She was president of the LGBT chapter at her high school. She has never hidden who she is. She has had relationships with men and women. She hates the label “bisexual” and refers to herself as queer. I don’t label her as anything besides my wonderful and sometimes infuriating daughter. She truly is an amazing person. She is accepting of other people and their beliefs. And yet, she has had so many ignorant and mean comments thrown her way.
Apparently, according to the masses, she just wants more people to screw (she’s actually been told this). She wants a monopoly on potential dates. She can’t be trusted because she will have sex with anyone. If someone asks her out, she has to be attracted to him/her because she is attracted to everyone. Women don’t want to date her because she’s been near a dick. Men have told her that she just hasn’t met the right man. She’s too pretty for…I could go on for pages. And most of these people don’t even know her or have any reason to care.
There have been a lot of nasty comments as responses to a number of blogs lately. I’m not going to be specific. The bottom line is that it isn’t right to push your beliefs on other people. The comments are on sex blogs. The people making the comments know what blog they are on. If you are offended by it, don’t read it. No one is forcing you to read them. But, before you decide to rip into someone, maybe think about the fact that these are human beings with feelings and have a right to live their own lives as they see fit. They aren’t being deceitful, they aren’t being promiscuous and they aren’t forcing you to join in.
They are also someone’s son or daughter. And maybe, one day, it will be you having to console your child when people are cruel because of the way they were born.
3 Replies to “Not that anyone is asking me…”
I completely agree. My daughter told me a few years ago, age 12, that she was bi. I told her it didn’t matter to me because as long as she was happy with herself and her life that was all that mattered. Who she was in a relationship was, whether male or female, don’t matter as long as they treat her with respect.
Out of respect for you as my friend I owe you and your daughter an apology. Recently, out of anger and hurt I know for a fact that I have tweeted comments saying I doubted I would ever date another bisexual woman. (Cue me later talking to bisexual woman again). I don’t see bisexual women like that. I just sometimes let my hurt spew out without thinking. You would think that I would stop to think first because I don’t mean those statements and I aam normally the first to speak out and get pissed that a lot of discrimination for LGBTQ actually is inside the community.
We often get caught up in our personal fight to be accepted that we lose sight of the goal. This is why my community loses more ground than we gain.
I am sorry to you both, your daughter, and all bisexual women for my words. And please don’t say no reason to apologize because when I do it absolutely feel free to call me out on it, please.
It hit home even more with this post because of the millions of thoughts through my mind over someone ..one of the last thoughts I had from experience of being shunned..was I wonder if all my “friends” will still be around if I try this journey
Hurt makes us say things that we don’t mean. And your words are so true. Discrimination comes from all places sometimes ❤️❤️❤️