FLR, D/s, Life and Kink
As you might have noticed from our tweets, Snake and I spend a lot of nights at the dance studio either with lessons or practicing. And on a lot of our *off* nights, we have an adult daughter who likes to come here and drink our alcohol…
Thursday night is always our night alone. A little wine and a nice body rub is heaven…
Every morning, the standard rule is to present myself to you immediately after my shower. I never really know what to expect of course; that’s part of the game. At one time, a hug. At another time, you’d get me just the point of “inflating” and send me on my way. Many times, it’s marks.
Today was no exception. You decide you’d make sure everything was well, check the cage, leave behind some teeth impressions. It’s always just enough to get the rush initiated, but never enough to do any more than that. To call it wonderfully frustrating might be a good description. I love these times.
If you follow Snake on Twitter, you might have noticed some pictures and a story that said “Per Charmer’s requirement…” and wondered why I was being so damn pushy… I thought I might tell you what the new year holds for Snake (and me).
We are heading into our third year of our relationship reboot. (Sorry, nerd) Our first year was exploring the D/s side of our relationship. We did a lot of playing with restraints and toys and Snake started wearing his cage. I’m sure that he can tell you the exact date that he ordered his first one but I would say it was January or February of 2014.
Charmer is always, always about the tease and control. I snapped this when she wasn’t looking just to give you a flavor and got permission to share it with you. See what I (get to) put up with? She loves to mess with me and give me little glimpses just as we “have to” head out the door. It’s a tough life. 🙂
Continue reading “Sinful Sunday #25 – See What I Get to Put Up With?”
When I walk in the door on Friday afternoon, you’re there to greet me. You have the grin on your face. The one that says you’re plotting and scheming and are in a place where you’re interested in one thing only – getting your way.
As I walk in you put your finger on my lips softly to shush me. You take my things, put them on the floor and proceed to undress me.
Snake and I have a long running joke because he loved disco and I was a rocker chick all the way. I have mostly cured him of that bad taste — and he tells me this might be one of the reasons….
Still such a noob at this whole impact punishment/play thing. I feel like every time I set out to be better at it, to own it, Charmer tosses another wrench into things and gets me all kinds of messed up. [SSC: I don’t want you getting bored…]
This time was no different.
We’ve sort of settled on a ratio of 10:1 currently. For every infraction, it’s 10 “impacts” or swats. She has say on whether that’s increased/decreased, but it seems to work out.
Before this time, I was sitting at 26. That’s right. 26. [SSC: Wouldn’t you think that he’d stop getting them for the same thing? I think that he secretly likes this.] That’s at least 260. I don’t know about you, but to me, that’s a LOT. The warning I’d received was that we were going to take care of 5 infractions that evening. I spent the rest of the day going over in my mind how I was going to mentally rush to the corner and just take it. Show that I can control the response. Suck it up, as it were.
So, there I was. Flat on my back, raring to go. Charmer had that look in her eyes that she was really looking forward to being on top and I have to admit to loving it too.
I love that feeling when she sinks down on me, then just stops and lets things settle. I look forward to it, consciously, even when we’re apart. This time was no different. Except that it was different. As she lowered herself, my brain was screaming “YES! Here it comes!” but my body was reporting in that nothing was going on.
I have to say, I love this picture because it reminds me of a cat – snoozing in the sun from the window, completely relaxed, oblivious to the world. It’s one of Charmer’s favorite things – lounging in the sun (usually reading) and kicked back relaxing. The only thing better are her soaking baths, perhaps a topic for future images. 🙂
Nothing says winter holidays like a roaring fire. So, Snake lit one in the fireplace and I thought that I would light one in him…
As we were doing a shoot for a future post, I snapped this and thought we’d share – dang, that’s a big cup, eh? Sometimes a shot is just fun and you have to share. 🙂
I started a game yesterday (read about it here) with Snake to set the date for his next orgasm. He’s pretty sure that he’s going to lose this one so thought that we’d just play with tiles–since he won’t be needing them…
Snake has been asking about another game. We haven’t played an official one since the beginning of June so I guess it’s about time to drive him insane again…
The Scrabble tiles are back. You remember how much he adored them the first time, right? Scrabble is his favorite board game. Not. And that just makes it even more fun for me.
The last time that we did a Scrabble game, he was earning points. We haven’t been doing the points lately so the rules have to change. So, instead of points, we are playing for days. To be precise, the number of days before he will be allowed an orgasm. His beginning date is December 18th so a week from today. He will be playing to see if he moves the date forward or backward…
If you ever talk with Charmer, you’ll see that she despises the end of year stuff of doing “a look back” and talking about what’s happened over the course of the year. The news programs will spout about things that happened, shows will talk about guests they had, etc. Drives her a bit crazy. [SSC: Very true. They ignore everything happening now for minutiae and interviews with the stars who made headlines this year. I don’t care about the 15 strangest baby names of the stars this year…]
But here I am. 2015 was a big deal for us because we learned a LOT about us. A lot about how we approach this thing we do. Specifically, our FLR has taken pretty strong hold at this point. I love that it’s not in a fantasy way, although I know you’ll be happy to know that it’s rare that she’s not walking around in black leather with a bullwhip while I dust. (Kidding) [SSC: How else would I get the dusting done?] We’ve found some interesting things that work well for us – I’ve written before about different ways we communicate in different scenarios.
Choices, choices. Do we wrap presents, or UNwrap presents?
Continue reading “Sinful Sunday – All Wrapped Up (Or Unwrapped) for the Holidays”
More often than not, when I am talking with someone about all this stuff we do, the conversation comes around to why denial would be something that would OK. Or, more accurately in our own case, “control” – neither of us are really into outright denial, but rather control and limited “release.” [SSC: Or rather, limits for you…] So many times people have talked to me and as we talk through it, they just have this bewildered look on their face.
Let’s face it, commonly it’s all about the “O” (hopefully for both parties) and it’s a race to get there. To change that up and completely manage or control, often without allowing one at a given time at all, is just a foreign concept. Add to that that many times I will pass on the opportunity willingly – and you get some really funny comments and feedback.
“But why? Why would you do this?”
Over the Thanksgiving holidays we had family here from out of town so we had a couple of family game nights. Not our usual brand of games. So, thought that we would pull out the cards and have a good old-fashioned game of Strip Poker… Guess who ended up with the winning hand?
Continue reading “Sinful Sunday #18–Do You Want to Play a Game?”
Snake and I have been talking that we are about at our two year kinkiversary. No, we don’t have an exact date because like most other things in our life, we just decided to make a change and did it. We’re the poster children for snap decisions–which, in most cases, turn out to be the right ones.
Love a great mix of leather and lace – so much fun. Definitely playing with fire. 🙂
[SSC: Just a warning….I was laughing so hard that I almost fell out of my chair when I was reading this. So fair warning: strap in…]
I don’t know if you’ve seen the movie “Inside Out” from Disney/Pixar – but if not, you may want to check it out. (Here’s a link to the trailer for context, it’s short and important for this post) It’s hysterically funny, and at the same time, shows the conversations that happen in our respective brains as life moves forward.
I had this type of conversation happen to me with Charmer and the only way I could describe it was in terms of the movie – for future reference, the characters in my head that were involved were:
I have a fairly public persona that we actively protect when it comes to stuff “here” and “there.” It drives me a little nuts. When both of your personas are almost entirely online, not getting any kind of bread crumb between the two of them is, if we’re being honest, nearly impossible.
A slipped reference, a missed login… and, if we’re going to get technical, even speech patterns and style suggests enough, over time, to draw lines.
I hate that it’s a problem. I have to actively change my writing style. I have to work to use different browsers for different types of work. I have to hide my phone, then encrypt it, then password it, then put locks on applications that then prompt for logins. It’s absolutely ridiculous.
This whole thing of anonymity and not crossing the streams is just over-the-top silly.
Snake keeps updating his Tumblr with jeans pictures, so I thought it only fair that I try to keep his attention with the same. So, we had some fun trying our hand at pictures in the same genre!
Continue reading “Sinful Sunday #16 — Topless and Jeans”
Charmer and I have a fantastic history and have experienced some of the biggest extremes in life – the highs and lows – and when we were taking shots for today’s Sinful Sunday, all I could think of (OK, I’ll be honest, it’s not “all I could think of,” let’s be real), was how all of these threads and ties and life-hooks have brought us to today. And how this was very symbolic of that!
The communication gamification post the other day prompted some nice comments, but one in particular has stuck with me all week. Trying to figure out how to explain a bit more about our dynamic (Charmer and Mine) and how it all works, without hanging her (or the commenter) out to dry.
Some background first that might help – Charmer and I have been married for a loooooooooong time. Like nearly 30 years. Together for even longer. [SSC: You mean we didn’t get married before we dated?] In that time, we’ve developed a pretty solid relationship, we’ve been through some really incredibly great highs and lows that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. OK, perhaps that’s not entirely true, I actually would like to wish some of them on my worst enemy, but that sounds bad, so I’ll just leave it at that. [SSC: For the record, I would totally wish them on him.]
I had a bit of a realization today. Might even border on epiphany.
You always hear people *say* that chastity and FLR and these assorted things we all collectively do tend to have a generally positive impact on relationships. As a matter of record, this has been extraordinarily true in our own case – having had a profound impact on our own lives together (for the record, for the better).
But I can’t help wondering why. Why does putting a piece of steel around your privates, locking it down and handing over the key change a relationship, sometimes shaking it to the core? How does that “fix” communication issues and “fix” other issues going on?*
* It doesn’t, of course, automatically fix mortally wounded relationships. It’s been said before, but it can be a catalyst-type of event, but it doesn’t fix a broken relationship. It can represent a change in approach, a turning point. But if there are underlying issues, those aren’t going to go away with a padlock. More on this here.
I think I have a clue about this – an idea of at least one significant thing that gets rolling when you do this stuff. I suspect, depending on the type of play you get interested in, it can have a more or less profound impact, but for the sake of this post, let’s go with enforced chastity, D/s and FLR. Yes, I realize those are huge areas, but bear with me a bit.