Long week. Really long week. The ups and downs are real, and it just seems like they pile on sometimes – this was one of those weeks. I can feel the pull of it all, even though the day is finally getting close to being done, and the weekend is here. Time to reset.
She can see it in my eyes, even in the way I hold myself. It’s a battle to not just snap at little things but to stay in control. That’s what’s needed, I have to stay in control.
“Here’s to the week being done and over…” we toast with our favorite wine – and settle into our dinner and talk about the day.
Out of the blue, she stands up – “Please take care of the dishes and such for me. I have some things to do. ” It’s a little odd. Just the phrasing. The look in her eye, it’s a strange gleam.
I get up and get things taken care of, grumbling to myself about the fact that I hear her calling me from the other end of the house to please run her bath water as soon as possible. She steps into the room, removes a robe, and hands it to me. “Please hold this, oh, and please bring in the wine – I don’t believe I finished it. ”
I stop, taking her in. I soften my attitude a bit, but look at her, my eyes asking the question “Say what?” – it’s not the request. It’s the way she is directing me, and body language around it.
All this time, I’m arguing in my head, grumbling about the week, doing “all the things” and all of that. Pretty petty, but there it is.
I bring back the wine, handing it to her, not even really in the moment.
“I need my book, please bring it in”
“Really need my water, like usual, with this wine.” She stops cold, looking at me. “And time to get your stuff together.”
This continues for a couple of other things. My head is clearly not in the game. Clearly not here like I need to be. Grumbling about the crap week, grumbling about the pointed request, grumbling… in general.
“Wow, someone is just really into it today, eh?” she says sarcastically. “Bring me my black paddles,” she says, leaning back in the tub. “And that collar of yours. Now.”
I stop and look at her. I take a breath to say something back and she wags her finger at me. Really. She’s wagging her finger at me?!? I start to laugh.
She’s not laughing.
She waves me off after saying “You’ll need to undress before you return.”
When I return, stark naked, she puts on my collar, then she tells me that she’s not yet done with the bath, to please kneel, eyes closed, at attention, holding paddles in front of me, a bit like I’m serving them up.
I think about objecting but think better of it. I think it’s time I shut up.
After a while, I hear her in the tub, it sounds like she’s getting up. “Eyes closed, please stand and give me my towel. You don’t get to see all of this with that attitude…” I hand her the towel. “Turn around, put the paddles on the counter, along with your hands.
I sense her, behind me. Drying off. Then nothing.
“You need to adjust your attitude. This is me, your Domme speaking, and I intend to help you return to the present. The week is done, you need to send that garbage back where it came from and be here, present, with us, now.”
I start to say something smart. She puts her hand firmly over my mouth. “No, really. Quiet. Give it up, come to now. “
Less than a second later the paddle connects with me. My eyes pop open with surprise and pain, I’m looking in the mirror, and I see her there, naked, having dropped her towel in the moment. Fire flashes through her eyes as our eyes connect.
“I said eyes shut!’
I feel everything but now starting to melt away.
It melts away even more as each impact hits, and radiates through me, pulling me to the only thing that matters – keeping control. Trying not to give in. Trying to manage through it.
“I can sense you pushing back on me. I need to stop that. I need you here. I need you here for me, I need to you toss that week out and surrender back to us. Now.”
The impacts increasing level-up and it’s harder and harder to keep my thoughts straight. Harder and harder to not ask to stop. Harder and harder to give what she’s taking.
I realized afterward, as we shared some time, just us, that that was the point where it all shifted. It shifted to now, to just focusing on the submission and giving the good energy to her. Giving the good support, and changing my attitude to what she needed.
Let the weekend commence…