It Finally Happened… I Lost It

We have strict rules about O’s for me. Permission first. I guess I should say, a strict rule. That’s it, that’s the rule.

For 5 years in this D/sFLR, I’ve actually done really well and haven’t screwed up yet. Yes, she’s been known to force the issue when she feels like it and override my not letting things get too far, taking it from me, as it were. But just flat out getting it wrong? I’ve always been pretty proud about not crossing the proverbial line in the sand.

a person holding hair with head down
Photo by Mikhail Nilov on

But, that all changed.

The Jett toy – that damn toy – it’s an intense, wild toy. It has two different vibrating bits (we did a review and another here on the site as well) that they call the “bass and treble” notes of vibration (great play on words). They really do work in harmony. And when the setting are just so, and the encouragement is just right and so-on, they are quite amazing and fun.

Charmer, of course, likes to play with fire a bit and use them to edge, or ruin or just mess with my head. Usually, it’s all of the above. (oh darn)

But this time? Well, she was laughing at the increasing torture this thing was bringing. I was struggling, truly, to stay somewhat in control. I was past the first few edges and heading full-on into “hot sweaty mess” mode.

I did all the things. Convincing myself I could deal with it. Talking myself through all the typical “nope nope nope nope” mental conversations (and sometimes out loud conversations) and all of that.

Things were going along swimmingly.

Until they weren’t.

It was like it was out of nowhere. I’m sitting there, minding my own business… Well, that doesn’t really work here, but you know what I mean. Doing all I can to control. While she’s sitting there, repeatedly pressing the “+” and “-” keys up and down, mostly up, and watching me wrestle with it all.

I thought I had it knocked. I thought I beat it and that it would be ok.

I was wrong.

My head swam, all of a sudden. That bolt of over-the-top electricity blew through me. I shuddered a bit, at least in my head, and I knew I was in trouble. I felt wave after wave of electricity flowing from that toy. To me. Through me.

It won.

I crossed over the wall, through it, really, and fell headlong into a full-on orgasm. It roared in my ears, made my body flip about a bit… and it just kept coming. Why? Because she was too busy laughing at me and was not about to turn off the damn thing in the moment.

When I finally did get her to turn it off, I looked at her and knew this was NOT what she intended. Not what she’d said was ok. Not what we agreed to.

I apologized. She smirked. “We’ll have to see what needs to be the punishment,” was all she said.

I’ve offered an idea, we’ll see if it’s enough, or appropriate in her eyes.

Me? I clearly have work to do in the control department. I know I can do better! A 2022 resolution!

Wicked Wednesday

4 Replies to “It Finally Happened… I Lost It”

  1. Oh my, it was bound to happen at some time, that you lose control. I couldn’t help but laugh when I read Charmer was laughing so much she couldn’t turn off the toy. Brilliant. Sorry haha!
    ~ Marie xox

  2. I’m sorry to laugh at your expense, but I’m picturing the entire scene, and I can understand why charmer was laughing too.

    It’s nice to have goals. I think further control is an excellent one! I wish you much fortitude in your endeavors!

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