One of Charmer’s favorite games to play are edging and denial-type games…that, of course, she makes the rules on.
And she’s quite the master at riding on that proverbial third rail, keeping things (er, me) just there, on edge. I have seen her maintain several in a row with less than 20 strokes between them, straight in succession. Well… “seen” is the wrong word. More like “experienced her… maintaining…”
It’s a bizarre feeling, like being removed from your own body and then having this raging game going on … down there. Running up the cliff, slowing just as you get there, then pausing, just long enough to sort of, kind of, maybe reset enough to go forward again. It’s a little like the old fable of pushing the boulder up the hill repeatedly.
And experiencing it is insanity. Who knew such a thing could be so intense and so strong and so insanity-inducing? And, of course, with the rules being “not until I tell you you can,” it gets even crazier, because who wants to let down their Domme in such a time? Or any time? If I can help it, it’s not happening.
Sometimes, it’s very close! I’ve written about learning better control, and the things I’ve learned, sometimes it takes every one of them to keep from teetering over the edge. And yes, it’s happened once or twice, but by and large, most of the time, I can wriggle around, cuss some, growl a bit and control it.
Of course, it’s at times when I get a bit uppity about managing it that she’ll just decide it’s time to show just how in control I’m not, and she is. She’ll push it forward, force it, take it from me, no matter what I try to do to control it. I won’t lie and say it’s not amazing and fun, and great play, but I will say that one of the craziest parts is the look on her face, that of “oh, wait. You thought YOU were in control of this….? Ha!”
And there are the times when I think she senses that I’m just in a “fuck it, let’s do this thing” headspace. Thinking I’ll sneak it by, or force myself over the edge, just because. And somehow, some way, she always finds a way to manage that, preventing it, too.
But in the end, it’s all good – because it’s fun to play, fun to learn about each other, fun to push buttons, fun to push the other person, and even the not-so-fun occasional punishment bits are a huge bit of our partnership.