I struggle with the distinct line between a fetish and a kink. I rationally know the difference, but they seem to have overlap in a strange way.
For instance, take the two objects above. I get excited looking at them. But, as objects alone are they exciting, or is it the ideas and actions that go along with the objects? I found this quote that a thought was really fascinating…
“A fetish is a story masquerading as an object.”Robert Stoller
And isn’t that really what the object is? It is the story that unfolds when you look and touch the object. It is all of the past experiences tied to the object, the fantasies that will never happen and the plans for the next time the object is used.
So, yes, maybe it is a fetish? But I guess I think these objects are more kink because they feed our D/s and our explorations. They are small pieces that come out at play that set a mood or give the right ouch or sensation.
Kink has been a part of our sex life since the beginning. Maybe because we met so young and had had few partners, we didn’t have a lot of preconceived notions of wrong. We did what we both liked. Bondage was fun. Different positions and lingerie and playing with objects and toys for sensations was just fun.
The D/s component was weirdly there from the beginning. It wasn’t voiced and it wasn’t probably even noticed. It just was how we worked and functioned. The naming of the thing and the rules came much later. But is was there.
Yes, there are definitely times when it feels uncomfortable to have people making jokes and comments that go against our views. Yes, it would feel better for a bit to open up their eyes that “normal” people are kinky and doing THOSE things. Even people they are related to or work with. The horror.
I don’t feel bad or wrong about what we do. We have fun with sex. So, on the kink vs. fetish? I guess both? I don’t want to have a relationship with his collar, but it is sexy to put it on him and know how it immediately shifts from D/s to Domme and sub. And the kink? I like my life with some spice…..