I think the influence of the cage is strange.
I’ve not had it on for a few days because of travel and circumstance. To say that it’s… different, is putting it mildly. I’m sure it’s psychological. I mean, how can NOT having a stainless steel cage on me make a difference in my mindset, if it’s not that?
I find that, now that I’ve had it on for the last year or so, I do miss it. I’ve read about others experiencing this. It’s not a lack of sub-mindset, but it is different. I know Thumper has talked about it over the years many times. I never really understood how it could be, but it most certainly is. There’s a difference in me, and Charmer sees it too.
But it’s stronger than that. It’s like the O-control has softer corners and edges. It’s still very much there, but it’s a “because I will it” not a “because she’s controlling it actively.” Weird.
I find myself thinking through many aspects of this whole thing – the differences in life, the mental state (heh, always question my mental state), the “why” of it all. Charmer is always amazed that I spend so much time wondering why it all works. She’s much more of a “hey, it works, that’s great!” I’m more of a “yeah, but why? It makes no sense!”
What’s odd is in talking with different people on Twitter and reading other blogs, there is often one of the people in the mix that thinks things through – and in male-sub relationships, it seems to predominantly be the male. It’s strange to think (see, analyzing again) that “it’s a guy thing” – I mean, what would that be about? Just not sure. I think there is much to learn.
But, then again, that’s what makes all of this so amazing!
5 thoughts on “Weird, The Cage Is…”
Wondering if you still after all this time do the why thing Snake.
It’s strange to think (see, analyzing again) that “it’s a guy thing” – I mean, what would that be about?
Lol have you seen my blog?! 90% of it is “but why?” “Wtf just happened?”
It’s a mind thing. Some of us analyze everything. I don’t see myself ever being able to stop the “why?” Sometimes I wish I could lol
Okay, I’ll sit quietly and stalk so you all don’t have to deal with old post comments. 😛
Bring on the comments!
Sure! I still wonder. But I don’t fight it. The psychology is fascinating I think. It hard to wrap my head around but that specific thing doesn’t bother me any more.
I’ve learned to be more present and letting it all be wonderful in the moment and have fun with that. 😊
Hope that makes sense….. Lol
It makes perfect sense! I’ll let you know when I too hit that stage of just being in the moment lol I just had this conversation with a friend who is strictly online but a friend of many years. When I was brand new to D/s coming out of purely vanilla times I had the biggest crush on her. She accidentally hit a subbie button. I didn’t know what it was, what it meant, that it was possible (esp online) and my reaction was …
Wow!!!! Wait, what just happened?! How?! Why?! Lol