B is for Blindfolds

We decided to write this as a she says/he says because Snake and I actually have very different views on blindfolds and masks.


We learned early that I am not a fan of wearing a blindfold or mask. I don’t like the sensory deprivation. I struggle even with the face masks now. I wear them, obviously, but the fact that I can’t see down and that my brain doesn’t translate words when I can’t see lips makes them really challenging.

So definitely not for me. But, we have played with them on Snake. There is a slightly fun aspect of surprise when he doesn’t know what to expect. I liken it to a jump scare in a horror movie.

There is a similar aspect when he is restrained on the bed and is face down, though. Yes, it limits options but I can get a similar response. This works really well with impact play because everything is out of his line of sight.

My actual issue with masks and blindfolds is that I can’t see the reactions. Reactions are what I want. I want to see how this or that affects him. I want to be able to make him keep his eyes on me. I want to see as well as hear the quick breaths or the gasps. As soon as a blindfold or mask is on, I lose all of that input.

The input is hot. It’s also important for me to gauge more or less. If I can’t see him, I have to rely totally on him to tell me that something is nearing a safeword. When I can see the reactions, I rarely ever need that. In fact, it has been only once and that was a surprise reaction that neither one of us expected.

We do occasionally use blindfolds, but at least for me, they really aren’t one of my favorite toys in the toy box.


I really like the whole sensory deprivation thing. It’s a selfish thing though – and only once in a while… but for me, the blindfold lets me pretend a bit that no one is seeing me and my reactions. No one is watching. I can be really self-conscious at times when it comes to play (not quite all the way to “shy” but close) and to have that thin veil of deniability is nice. Clearly it’s a mind game though, because if Charmer wasn’t actually there, how would whatever is happening… get done. I didn’t say it was logical.

I do love the idea of occasional sound, sight deprivation (music, blindfold) – I’ve written about it here before, too. Something about not only not knowing what’s coming, but when. No indication – no sound, no sight, just when whatever it is connects with me in whatever way she plans…

The downside is that I second-guess myself a bit at times. Since a reaction is a mix of surprise (whoa! Didn’t see THAT coming), perhaps a bit of fear (she really likes to push this button), some sensation… all of those can have me do a bit of a startle reaction – and then I fight to pull it back in – so sometimes, particularly starting out in whatever situation, a blindfold can cause a bit of whiplash in my reactions… Weird.

And then there’s the eyes. Her eyes. If you have been reading this for any length of time, you know my thing is for eyes. When I can’t see, I can feel them – peering, blazing, staring me down, lusty, playful, animal. I truly miss this even with all of the “let me withdraw into my own world” side of things.

I guess this makes a strong case for ongoing sexy time, experimentation and variety of implements… Sigh. Darn. *evil grin*


8 Replies to “B is for Blindfolds”

  1. The blindfold has two aspects. In the first case, you can wear it yourself. And expect the unexpected. Or put it on your partner and play with his feelings.

  2. I really liked the he says, she says as it is great to get the perspective from both of you. It is interesting how much you both feel is lost by the wearing of a mask or a blindfold. It really came across about how important the reactions are in feeding the D and s feelings for each of you. Really enjoyable. Missy x

  3. Lovely post
    Great you both have written your views. I agree with u both on some points – i don’t like the sensory deprivation but, like snake, I enjoy thinking noone is watching
    May x

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