Charmer’s Take on Privacy

Privacy has so many meanings. Having doors to keep others out when we need a little time alone. Journals or diaries where we want to keep our private thoughts. Knowing that your phone is not being read over your shoulder. Respecting online personas. And on and on.

Photo by Connor Danylenko from

In my own family, privacy was respected. Doors weren’t opened without first knocking and possessions weren’t rifled through. I grew up secure that things that I wanted to keep private would stay that way.

Of course the digital age has changed a lot of that. Data privacy is a big topic in the tech community and Snake and I talk about it regularly. Of course people have access to our information in ways that we don’t necessarily want, but we give up that bit of privacy for conveniences. And protect what we can.

So what is privacy now? This quote seems to sum up how I see the world.

I believe in a zone of privacy.

Hillary Clinton

I obviously have an online persona. There are plenty of people online who know my “real” name because I have shared it with them. I chose to give up the privacy of Charmer because we are friends. So, it was my choice.

I’ve had someone sneak around and put very obscure pieces together to “catch” who I am and he figured it out. I think he was quite proud of how smart he was and even tried to tell me that it was a service to me to show where I needed to be more careful because someone could stalk me online. Of course without realizing that that was precisely what he was doing.

It was intrusive. And there was literally no reason for it because we were pretty good online friends and I would have told him my name if he had asked. Instead, he ruined the friendship and we don’t talk at all anymore. It was incredibly hurtful and sad.

I guess, then, for me at least, privacy still goes back to treating someone how you would want to be treated. If you wouldn’t want someone snooping on you, don’t snoop. If you don’t want someone to know your name behind your online persona, don’t poke into someone else’s.

Zone of privacy–we all deserve it.

12 thoughts on “Charmer’s Take on Privacy”

  1. There are a few online people that I know enough of them if I wanted to I could easily find their vanilla info. I don’t though because I have no reason too. If they want me to know they will tell me. I don’t normally ask. I sometimes will ask if I can have a photo to put with the name but it is usually if we have been becoming friends for a while. If they say no it doesn’t bother me. Boundaries.

  2. Much ugh to the person whose sense of entitlement exceeded their respect for you. The scary thing about the digital world is that what can be done is vast, and bears no relation to what should be done, or not done, as a matter of conscience.

  3. “privacy still goes back to treating someone how you would want to be treated” – this is SO true, and not only where privacy is concerned, but in all aspects of life. Sorry to hear about the friend-turned-stalker. It must have been so upsetting!

    Rebel xox

  4. There are people on here that I consider friends. I’m not adverse to sharing my real information with them, and perhaps one day I will. I do know one person’s real name (as it was shared with me) and I once read a blog where the writer had used their real names in error. I let him know and he thanked me and edited his post. I would never search someone’s information nor out them if I knew their information. It’s just wrong.
    I’m sorry you had that experience. But to me you guys are just “Snake & Charmer” I do wonder what kind of snake you are though…lol

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