Rock Climbing… and Sex and Anonymity

I love rock climbing.  I have a great group of friends who really enjoy rock climbing too – but they like different things about it.  It seems like we’re always discovering new techniques, new tricks, new things that are fun.  I love hearing their stories too – things they’ve done and experienced, things they try and either succeed or fail at.

One of the things I really love about rock climbing is the adrenaline rush.  When it comes to a new challenge or a new technique, it’s so much fun to try with with toys, from rope to clamps and even special rock climbing clothes we find.  It adds a lot to the overall fun of things and can really help the rock climbing experience.

I think it’s funny too that, after a rock climbing experience, it’s really not unusual to sit around and compare bruises, scrapes, cuts and generally look a the signs that we were really here, really did that, really loved it and had a great time.  A lot of people look at us like we’re crazy, especially when they see some of the marks left behind after a really rigorous rock climbing time.  It seems weird to them that we’d be bragging about the so-called “injuries” and put so much time and energy into creating great rock climbing challenges and situations.

We even get together after as a group at times – we have rock climbing clubs where we can try new things, new equipment, even take classes.  It’s a lot of fun, we get demonstrations, we get to learn, even participate sometimes if we want.  Then they turn us loose after the classes and let us put our own techniques and things we’ve learned to good use.  The rock climbing “clubs” or “arenas” are really great because they present all sorts of different types of challenges.  Not everyone is into each of the different types of options, but that’s ok, everyone just does whatever seems most interesting to them.

It’s a great group we hang out with too – we’ll even occasionally meet up with other rock climbing folks and just grab a hamburger or coffee.  It’s nice to talk about things people see, or read about online or even just normal life stuff.  Like I said, it’s a great community – very supportive of each other.

Another of the cool things about rock climbing is the gear.  People are always showing off new toys, from harnesses to footwear to suspension ropes and safety equipment.  It’s great to see too that we all watch out for each other, making sure we know about things that can happen, help with life and so much more.  Heck, we even have a workout group that keeps us all working to be as fit as we want to be.  Some really inspirational people in there.

Rock climbing, and the whole community and the huge number of variations – whether it’s just the two of us or a whole gaggle of people that go and have fun with it, is a lot of fun.  I hope everyone gets a chance to be exposed to a rock climbing community with so much learning and support to offer.  It can change your life.


You could post that to Facebook.  Anywhere really.  You’d get comments about how fun it sounds.  How cool it is that you found a new hobby.

Same text, but replace “rock climbing” with “BDSM” or “Kinky Sex” or your favorite term for this thing we do.  Suddenly we have to hide behind anonymous names and monikers.  We have to pretend we don’t do the things we do.  But so many do.  But no one can talk about it.

It drives me a little crazy, I must admit.  Sure, my blog about my passion for typesetting doesn’t need to have components of it that related to my surfing love. They should be separate.  But neither would have to be hidden.

But oh no.  Talk about things with the wrong “title” words and we have to hide, be anonymous.  Worry that we’ll be outed.  I honestly feel like it’s like someone walking up to you and calling you on your blog (or twitter or whatever) and asking how you could do that “stuff…”

Someday, I want to get to the point where I can answer with a laugh, then stop.  Then look them straight in the eye and just say “what?!?  You mean you don’t have sex?  Like ever?  Like you have never tried new things in the bedroom (or out, heh)?

It would be cool to have the moxy to do that.

But, for now, I guess I’ll anonymously write about “rock climbing” and hope that someday, SOMEDAY, people relax.  There’s so much to discover and enjoy.  Just for enjoyment sake.

6 thoughts on “Rock Climbing… and Sex and Anonymity”

  1. I get your point and you aren’t the only one to make it, but the comparison doesn’t hold up for me.

    Frankly, I don’t want to hear about acquaintance’s sex life because it’s intimate and personal and just TMI. And that’s true whether they have the most vanilla of vanilla sex lives, or if they’re into swinging or BDSM or something else entirely.

    I don’t know, maybe I’m a prude. But it would squick me out to learn in casual conversation that Bob in accounts likes trying to stick bigger and bigger things up his arse and how he’s really excited because he found a new type of enema that is sooo much easier to use in the prep for it. I just… no.

    IF I was a super social person and/or had a group of close personal friends (because community minded and all that), then okay, and my online community is that for me. But that’s really not what you’re talking about, right?

    I just really REALLY don’t want to picture random acquaintance’s sex lives, and I REALLY don’t want them picturing me in mine. Which is super odd coming from me, I suppose, but it’s still true.


    1. Sure, content still needs to be segregated and clear so people can choose what they’re interested in, I’m more frustrated with the idea that it’s cool to talk about rock climbing (or whatever) but if it ventures into this stuff all of a sudden most of the people talking about it (writing) have to protect their identity and be careful what they talk about. My issue is that it’s “just” another thing we do.

      I wish it could be more open – not commonplace, but open. Sure, I don’t need to hear about the dude in accounting either – great point. But I think the amount of energy that goes into “hiding” the fact that we do some of these things is unfortunate and I guess that was my bottom line. But I don’t know if that’s any clearer a way of putting it. 🙂

      1. Okay, I think I see what you mean: you threw me with all the rock climbing detail.

        I’m not sure where the line is to be honest because for me the ‘hiding’ is not (necessarily) about BDSM, it’s about ‘private/sex lives’. Most people who write vanilla sex blogs or have active vanilla sex lives ALSO hide their identities and don’t talk about it with people in their lives for various reasons, not least of which is ‘TMI’.

        In short: I’m not convinced that a vanilla person is free to be any more open than a BDSM one.

        I absolutely agree that there’s an additional ‘ew, you do weird stuff?!’ issue that makes discovery more fraught, and I wish there wasn’t, but I think if anyone talks explicitly about their sex life, it’s nearly always going to be hidden*.

        *exceptions for those for whom it’s their living, though most of those still use pseudonyms on the internet, and I sometimes wonder how ‘out’ they are to the people in their lives


  2. Shut the front door! You have a typesetting blog? With stuff like fonts and kerning? *swoon*

    Seriously though, I’m sure you know how much I struggle with the anonymous nature of NDG, let alone the need to hide my authentic self from those close to me. Lots to think about.

  3. The older I get, the less I’m interested in hanging out with people I have to hide the real me with. We run with people who are probably less kinky than we are. They are flirty and fun though. If they were close minded or prudish, I don’t think I’d be interested in seeing them really.

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