One of the things that most pushes my buttons on the /s side of things is the mind games. NOT Scrabble, but actual screwing with my head and bending things around to show control.
It’s perhaps a strange thing, but it’s like a bit of a reality check that someone can get in your head, can twist around your thinking, and can even squeeze that together with the physical side of things, just to show they can, to show that you’ve given over that ability. That’s a heck of a /s place to be.
“We’ll see how many edges we can get in 15 minutes,” and leave it at that. She said earlier in the day. “Fun… but really? Just leave me hanging,” I asked…. “Yes.”
I mean, 15 minutes is long enough to have some fun, but short enough to be aggravating (distinct from frustrating, but that’s a different post). So I was stuck on this back and forth in my mind all day. But, of course, it’s not on me to decide.
As they say of other jobs, I serve at her pleasure. And today it seemed it was to start things and stop as soon as it got rolling.
So, here we are. I’m fighting. I’m fighting to control, because I have explicit “nope” instructions. I’m fighting to make sure I do my part, but also, my brain is rolling around in my head, high from the edges that were brought in a flash, worried that I’ll miss a beat, because right this instant, that’s all it would take.
“Stop Stop Stop Stop Stop….’ I gasp out. A couple more strokes, and then she stops, but doesn’t let go. I feel every. single. bit. of her hand on me. I feel me crossing over that edge, pulling back, going back over, pulling back. Teetering just so. And I know, I can feel it, that she’s watching me.
Then she gives just a squeeze…
That’s it, Not right away. Not right then. But I feel something deep inside as the walls come down. I can’t stop it. I’m trying. I’m trying desperately to hold up my end of the bargain. To not tumble over. A few seconds pass…. a few more. Then I feel it run up my cock spilling over as all I can say is “no no no no…” and try to hold back.
I still feel her hand on me. I feel her watching me. I feel my body rebel. I feel all of this fight inside me as I slowly, almost painfully, feel myself empty. Or at least that’s what I think is happening.
It seems to go on forever. But once it stops, there are a couple of beats – a few seconds and she starts again. I’m still fighting, still trying to control, but we’ve passed that point a bit ago, clearly. I feel my insides calm into that pre-O physical space. I feel myself curl up inside the feelings. I feel myself relaxing into it. Then I hear, almost literally, my head screaming… “NO!” and try to pull back, control again.
She hovers just on the edge again with me, holding me there for what is probably seconds, but feels like forever. It feels like something I can manage. But then, she decides it’s not. Not something she’ll give me control over.
She pushes me over the edge, hard – without hesitating, without stopping. I feel my insides flop about and respond as I am cumming hard, again. I can feel it starting deep inside me, then forcing it’s way out, it’s electric and amazing and all at the same time, my head is still screaming… “NO!!!!!”
My eyes flash open for a second… she’s looking at me, grinning. And still going. Still. Going. My body is jumping around, but I also know better than to stop her, I feel like electricity is blowing through me, twitching my muscles involuntarily. I still feel myself trying to cum all over again, all while feeling like I’ll break in half.
She slows, stops and squeezes. One last time. It’s like a bolt of lightning through me as she lets go. My brain is toast at the moment. My head is feeling all the good, and all of the bad of not doing my part. Of not NOT doing my part.
A few minutes later, I apologize. “I’m sorry, I was trying…” I said. “Sorry? Sorry for what?”
“You said edge, not … all that”
“You shouldn’t feel bad. That was what I wanted,” and she took it. Stole it. Literally, whether I wanted to or expected it or was trying to control myself, or not.
Holy shit. How to push my buttons 101.