Content warning: Deals with current events and 9/11
Boundaries are a struggle for me. I tend to go either too loose or totally tighten them down. I don’t compromise very well with them at all.
With most people, I tend to not set up strict ones. This, in general, isn’t a problem as I don’t really come in contact with that many people in my daily life. Of course, then when they stomp over me and I feel used and invaded, then I throw up the barricade and it isn’t easily taken back down.
Online I have learned to be very careful with boundaries. The anonymity of life online can be freeing or it can give people free rein to do things they would never consider doing if they had to look at the person.
I share quite a lot with friends and a decent amount with acquaintances. But when I follow someone on Twitter and then get an immediately DM asking my name and for a face picture? It’s just too much. Relationships and trust are built over time.
My biggest boundary that I try really hard to not compromise on is too much news. Yes, it is important to know what is happening in the world. I was a journalism major and being current is super important to me.
That said–I can’t do the constant barrage of news. This is not new to the current situation. After 9/11, I had to turn off the TV. Watching the same footage over and over didn’t make me feel informed. All I felt was anxious.
There have been several events since then including the shooting of Gabby Giffords in our city. The current virus is another. Yes, I want to know what I need to know to stay safe. I want to keep informed about what is being done. But the numbers flashing on the screen and the briefings at state and federal and global levels? I feel helpless and anxious and that doesn’t help anyone.
So while we continue to do what we should and keep apprised of the big picture, I will be turning off the TV and muting words and focusing on the life that I can control. It’s my boundary that needs to be tended and preserved to keep me healthy.
7 Replies to “Boundaries”
It’s tough being continually hit over the head with numbers and gloomy things. I understand completely why you need to back away from it. I sometime find myself watching it as if I’m watching a train wreck. It’s fascinating but not very pleasant. Stay well. And do your bit. That’s all any of us can do.
It gets addictive. You stay safe and well ♥️
Very good advice. I read somewhere that most news is in fact unhealthy especially when combined with voice or picture because it is the nature of news to be mostly negative and selective. Can’t find the link anymore though.
i don’t use TV for about 10 years and feel very comfy about this
I so agree with everything you have said. Often the news seems to attempt to scaremonger as well as inform. I don’t need that. You have that boundary in place and it protects your mental health – fair play – great advice too…
I completely understand your point of view.
Keep you and yours safe.
I stopped listening to NPR during the last campaign when things started to look bad and afterwards when the news just sounded like fear mongering. Television and print are just as bad. I only look at the local news for what the Packers or Brewers are doing.
Currently if I want news I look at the Guardian online or listen to the BBC World podcast.
I want to know what the rest of the world is seeing and thinking. But right now all I can deal with is my own backyard.
Living with an Emergency Doctor who’s Hospital Administrators are saying only where protection when going into a room with someone who has symptoms. The asymptomatic patients are the hidden carriers. And the asymptomatic Are the ones who shed the virus the most. (A study by a German scientist into the spread of flu started a study of Covid patients and their shedding as soon as the outbreak was announced. )
Assume everyone is a carrier until proven otherwise.
Practice social distancing.
Wash your hands and commonly handled items often.
Avoid close crowds.
Don’t believe the USA numbers any new cases are identified not by test but by diagnoses usually respiratory distress. The states are out of testing medium and haven’t been testing for two weeks. (At least that’s the case in Wisconsin)
Sorry for the length but these are important things.
I never gave it a thought about limiting something like watching TV as a boundary.
And all this news about the virus, limiting oneself is almost a necessity for good mental health.
Thanks for sharing & linking up to SB4MH