Minds are an interesting place. Or, at least in my case, MY mind is a strange place. I am constantly looking at this or that picture or video or reading a post or story or book and thinking….
Oh yeah? Well, what if we went to the next step? What IS that next step? What would that be like? How would that work… then my brain devolves into this animal mode thing of irrationality and obsession…
It happens a lot. Perhaps even more when I can’t have whatever thing it is that I caught wind of. Some of those become posts here, some are stuck in my head because they’re just so out there, or physically improbable if not impossible. So many times I talk with Charmer about it and I get this knowing grin. Or she tells me about something and my new found purpose in life is to find out how to get it happening for her…
But sometimes, when I don’t get that knowing grin, I get even more concerned. I know, without a doubt, that she’s already figured out how to twist and turn, or enhance (!) or modify that thing we just talked about. And usually, when it slips into *that* look, it’s something that is for me, at me, to me.
We’ve tried all sorts of things that have come from unexpected things we’ve found. We see them, get the idea, blog back and forth to each other and I usually end up getting a “make it so” post from her (or text or dm) and that’s that. Sometimes, she’s doing it for me. Sometimes, she’s doing it for her. But always, if it’s for me, it’s really because she’s found a way to make it hers.
- Oh, Snake thinks he might like impact play, eh? Great. We’re going to sample implements. We’re going to find out what *Charmer* likes and then tweak that. Wooden, stingy, long spoons it is, then. Me? But… wait. I wasn’t saying THAT…
- Oh, she likes “X” – THAT’S Cool! I of course jump in and explain all the things I can find in 10 seconds about whatever the “X” is. “Oh, that’s nice,” she’ll say. “But that’s not how I’m going to do it.” Then I get to sit and think over exactly what she’s going to be doing, what her approach will be. Sure, anticipation is amazing. But I’ve learned that when she brings it to the table, she’s already figured out her flare. Topping from the bottom by trying to drive the direction just results in laughter – real from her, nervous from me.
- Overall, this has impacted estim, bondage, chastity, impact, ouch-y stuff, D/s and FLR structure and so much more.
So, in the vein of “things we do for love” – I have to admit, I’m thankful for each and every one of them. I think the biggest thing we do that is along these lines is that we’ll try nearly anything the other is interested in. There have been flops, there have been huzzah! times. There have been “meh, but let’s change this!!” which usually means it wasn’t enough … whatever.
Having a relationship and partner that supports that, that fuels that, that supplements that, and yes, that makes it their own, is a great deal of fun. Both bringing twists to things keeps it interesting and keeps the other person guessing.
The big takeaway – we have both said yes to things that are terrifying when we think about them. Either because of what they entail, or what we IMAGINE they may entail or whatever. But pushing through that because we want to let the other person do their thing and revel in it has been a blast!
2 Replies to “The Things We Do …”
This is excellent relationship advice – so many people don’t try what the other person suggests – they may just find someone else to try it with x