Change, and Chasing “More”

D/s and kink and all of this thing we do is a challenging beast. I’ve written before about some of the challenges of changing up your relationships (like FLR and D/s in general) and what it means to at least our dynamic – from learning how things are to be done, to figuring out how to communicate better.

But one of the things that constantly tugs at all of this is this feeling that “well, if that was fun, imagine what it would be like if we did twice as much!”

Yes, sure. Experiment. Explore. Find things you like.

But we have to constantly be careful to work around this rabbit hole. It seems like our brains constantly tell us “more is better” and while it’s true with some things, it’s not necessarily always the case.

It’s like the dude that has the stamina to end all stamina. Just because he can, doesn’t mean he should.

When I sit back and do the old roller coaster thing “Let’s do it again!!!! I want to go again!” I remind myself from time to time that the simplest of things can be oh-so-effective. Sure, it’s fun to substitute things, or modify an idea or play with a new toy.

There are times for overload – for sure. The wheel plus bite marks, plus electricity, plus… you get the idea. These can be amazing and drop you into subspace and hold you there.

But, you can experiment and get the same thing with mind-bending edging. Or teasing/torture with the wheel alone. Nothing else. Mix it up. Tweak it.

But it doesn’t have to always be more – sometimes it’s just flat out great right where it is.

My advice? Don’t forget to revisit the things that got your motor running in the early days of your discovery of a thing you like (or things…). It is great fun to just relax, enjoy, play, have fun.

5 Replies to “Change, and Chasing “More””

  1. Brilliant reminder, it’s great to have all the bells and whistles as they say, but more important to know the basics of tune you’re playing in the first place, and sometimes that’s more powerful!

  2. Remembering to enjoy the simple stuff is so important. When we don’t have much time, we find ourselves forgetting to connect at all or putting play off for that mythical night the kids have gone to bed on time, but by remembering the power of simple we can make the most of every minute.

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