This is a second part to Charmer’s post, here. I don’t get as many questions about things as Charmer does – but I do get a lot of assumptions. I get assumptions about what it means to be in an FLR with D/s structure and how it all works for us. It’s odd how people … Continue reading Snake’s Perspective: Lifestyle D/sFLR
The prompt for “Food for Thought” this week is mistakes. Had me thinking about all the things I’ve learned about our FLR that I didn’t expect, about the whole D/s side of our lives that we’re always tuning and tweaking…
It’s really interesting to see how D/sFLR stuff takes hold with different partnerships. If you read up about FLR at a fantasy level, it’s all about controlling the /s/ partner, and the /s/ partner being “forced” to do x, y or z if things go wrong.
It’s been an interesting time around the Snake den. Some good, some challenging, you know, like normal life. But I’m one to look back after the fact and try to dissect the good and the bad, try to understand it. It’s my little present to Charmer, just to do my best to drive her a … Continue reading Submission, D/s FLR, Getting it “Right”
Handing over control is a powerful idea for a lot of guys – chastity goes hand-in-hand with this – you lock it up and hand over the keys and voila! She runs your life, makes the decisions, and things are wonderful. It’s exactly as you imagined it. Except that’s not how it goes. The reality … Continue reading Getting What He Wants in an FLR
I’ve been a busy snake of late. With the game, the challenge prior to that, and Charmer’s good nature, I’ve been allowed orgasms on a very regular basis – sometimes to the point of torture (at least with ruined orgasms). You can read more about those in the other posts, but suffice to say, it’s … Continue reading FLR and D/s Course Correction Underway
FLR (Female-Led Relationship, or FLM Female-Led Marriage) is essentially a power exchange arrangement. I have thought a lot (probably too much) about why this is cool, why it pushes buttons for people, what they get out of it, etc. Aside from the power trip of being in charge, why is this associated with sexual control too? … Continue reading What Makes FLR Work?
It can be tough to sustain any number of these lifestyle changes that we collectively write about in the “kink” world. I look around and it’s impossible not to see the blog carnage from those who start, then get swept up in life. I think one of the things that we turn to some of these … Continue reading FLR in Daily Life
It seems like so many posts on FLRs focus on reasons and mechanics instead of the relationship piece.
We have strict rules about O’s for me. Permission first. I guess I should say, a strict rule. That’s it, that’s the rule. For 5 years in this D/sFLR, I’ve actually done really well and haven’t screwed up yet. Yes, she’s been known to force the issue when she feels like it and override my … Continue reading It Finally Happened… I Lost It
Looking back over the past 6+ years, you’d think that most popular posts would be somewhat evenly spread over the time. Nope.
Charmer likes to push boundaries, heck, we both do. I think little nudges in new directions tend to add up to big nudges that introduce new ideas, new things to think about, new experiences. We’ve added Boot Camp weekends to the mix of late – we do them when it strikes Charmer’s fancy, no real … Continue reading 100 Edges, 12ish hours.
Chastity has been a really interesting physical and thought experiment run with me. We’re now into this full-time since 2015 – this grand process of FLR, D/s and the chastity cage. I never really anticipated what it would be like, the impact it might have and the cool learning it’s lead to.
Were we always kinky? Yes, definitely. Were we always kinky the way we are now? Not really.
Who are we? We are Snake and Charmer. We are a married couple exploring D/s, chastity, and kink. We like spending time together, drinking wine, travel and nerding out with movies, video games, and DnD. And sex. And taking and sharing pictures. And exploring our FLR. Steeled Snake Blog We started this blog in March … Continue reading Who Are Snake and Charmer?
I am spoiled. Totally admit that. Snake takes care of most of the house chores except cooking and he does that on Saturdays if we are cooking at home. Laundry, cleaning, garbage and lately even grocery shopping.
There are always so many myths surrounding D/s and FLR. So many come from books, TV and movies–they get it wrong so much more often than they get it right.
Topping from the Bottom is the adversary to D/s and FLR type arrangements. I pretty firmly believe this to be the case in so many ways. I’m not talking about this from a preachy – one true way – standpoint, but rather from a position of “you have to let it work, let it evolve, … Continue reading Don’t Stop Believin’
It’s a weird thought that we’re several years into this all now. I can’t believe all that has changed, how much I’ve grown up mentally, how much I’ve learned about me, about us.
I have said it before – I love the ways that all of this thing we do can be done. Flavors of a theme, different “levels” or activities, different approaches. All of it so finely tuned to what works for you and your partners, it’s pretty cool that there is this assumption that “well, yeah. … Continue reading Motivation, Chastity and Life
I admit that when we first started our path through D/s and FLR, rewards and punishment weren’t on the top of my mind. Partly, I think because our relationship had history where Snake tends to do what I like and he rarely fights anything with me unless he feels really strongly about it.
Minds are an interesting place. Or, at least in my case, MY mind is a strange place. I am constantly looking at this or that picture or video or reading a post or story or book and thinking…. Oh yeah? Well, what if we went to the next step? What IS that next step? What … Continue reading The Things We Do …
Sort of answer the first, with the second. But suffice to say I think I’d be classified as “kinky” and I can vouch for Charmer holding that banner as well. Weird thought, interesting label, but it got me thinking about that. Well, that and a series of posts about Chastity (think diamonds) and so much … Continue reading Do you… Kink? And What is Locktober/Chastity About?
I’ve always been a writer. I was the kid who wrote stories on summer break when I wasn’t reading them. I majored in journalism and have done a great deal of technical writing in my job. So, what is the difference when I blog?
We’ve not received the volume of negative comments that others do, for that, I’m not at all unhappy. But we did receive one the other day that actually had me thinking. In essence, (paraphrased) “What makes you so special? FLR and D/s and these things all of you write about don’t make you better than … Continue reading From comment: “What makes you so special?”